At The Water's Edge
Looking For Clues 3: The First Time
A few years later I went on to study Electronics and Physics at university. That first term was great: lots of parties, socialising etc and a bit of work. That was the problem though, the "bit of work" part. Although I went to all the lectures etc I just didn't feel I was engaged with the subject matter. University didn't feel like the life-changing experience I'd expected or hoped for and it was just was more of the same: studying for the sake of passing exams, lubricated with a little more alcohol and socialising than I'd previously experienced. Taking a step back from it over the Christmas vacation it all seemed a bit empty. After a lot of thought I decided I was not going to continue with Electronics & Physics but return to university the following year to study Mathematics with a view to becoming a teacher. (I've described here in a sentence what was actually a stressful and traumatic time for me and my family.)
In the interim, between Christmas and returning to university in the autumn, I moved to London. Up to that point, I don't think I'd been as happy in my life as I was over the following nine months. In hindsight, I think it was my first experience of "following my bliss" although it would be another five years before I even became aware of the term. For the first time ever in my life it seemed I was actually doing what I wanted to do with my life and I was experiencing a certain amount of luck to help me on my way too. I had made the challenging decision not return to university, against all odds, advice and familial desire and went to live in London.
I won't go into the details of everything that happened during that period but suffice it to say I was happy. I felt empowered and things seemed to be going my way. I was living in a decent area, renting a flat cheaply because it was about to be sold and had a great job as a lifeguard in the West End (after a couple of grotty attempts at door-to-door selling encyclopaedias and wall-cladding; both of which I failed at spectacularly). I had colleagues that I liked and who became good friends whilst I was there. I was energised by it all. Life was good. Niggling ailments like the severe acne and veruccas that I'd suffered from for years completely disappeared too.
Towards the end of my time, before I returned to university, I travelled around Europe - Interrailing as it was called then. I travelled all the way down to the South of France and back up through Europe to just inside the Arctic Circle in Norway. I had some adventures in that month. The picture above is from that time, waiting for the ferry to take me back from Finland to the girlfriend I had Sweden.
